It’s been a big week for nudity in the surfing world. On the October 25th, everyone’s favorite lonely Basque, Kepa Acero (who’s last name translates to the rather pornish “Steel”) dropped a video of himself surfing a deserted point in Angola completely naked. Then on the 29th, a woman named Alana Blanchard, who you may have heard of, appeared in the first of a series of videos by Network A. In the first installment, she’s hanging out in Kauai with her friends, all scantily clothed. Both videos were equally intriguing but for different reasons.
Blanchard has what is arguably the most ogled ass in all of professional sport, and it, along with her friends’ asses, is on prominent display in the scant five minutes of the video. Interestingly, if you look closely at Acero’s ass, you will find that he too is the proud owner of some lusty glutes. If you were to wax them, put them in a Brazilian bikini and take a close-up shot, I would be willing to bet that it would be impossible to tell apart from Blanchard’s.
Not that you would do that, because that would be weird, right? What is also a little weird is that, at three separate points, the cameramen and editors of Alana’s video have chosen to give us heavily zoomed shots of Blanchard’s ovaries. Not her butt, breasts, or legs, but specifically the lower part of her stomach where her reproductive organs, among other things, are located. It’s strange and kind of trangressively funny to be listening to her voice-over while staring at her baby makers. I’ve never done this to a woman in real life, nor has it ever occurred to me to do so. It’s the sexual equivalent of the “Gangnam Style” dance – something that seems like it should be offensive, but is instead just a little silly.
Both Acero and Blanchard’s videos have a minimum of characterization, which is fine, because in both, the main character is actually the landscape – Angola and Kauai, respectively. Acero has little to do but react to the desert and to the waves with varying degrees of awe, consternation, humility and stoke. His face is perfect for this, and his journey transmits a very visceral sense of “out there” that makes him a valuable employee of his main sponsors: Patagonia, Pukas, G-Shock, VSTR, Arnette, Dakine, and Reef.
Read the full article, here.